It's sometimes easy to forget how effective the "little and often" approach to change can be. It's the "marathon and not a sprint" way of thinking; the "get rich slowly" as opposed to trying to quickly. I'd like to think I'm instilling the approach across my existence - admittedly, with varying levels of success.
Now, I'm not saying sartorial elegance is the be all and end all of the process but I was walking down the street the other day when I past a chap wearing the exact same polo shirt that I used to own some time ago. I think it was from H&M and I used to absolutely love wearing it. Too much I'd say in hindsight. By the time I peeled it off my back that final time it was way past its best days. But one day I consciously decided that it and a few other tatty garments had to go. It was time to upgrade everything around me. Seeing that guy in my top did give me a bit of a jolt but, at the same time, it did in some small way show me that I haven't been going round and round in circles making no effort to improve myself. Silly, perhaps, and hardly a goal-defining moment but it still brought a bit of a smile to my face.
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
Friday, 9 July 2010
Don't look back in anger
A former colleague of mine passed away last week. It was a heart attack and all very sudden. One minute he was seeing off his wife and children as they went to visit family abroad, the next thing a few days later he was making a final taxi journey where he failed to reach his destination. We weren’t majorly close but we did sit opposite each other for a couple of years prior to him leaving the firm a year ago and I got to know him and his world. He may not have had the healthiest of lifestyles, smoking quite a lot and being a bit overweight, but he still was only in his mid-to-late forties. He even used to joke about my twice a year detox and salad lunches – “you’re going to live a very long and boring life. What’s the point?” he’d laugh. Whether or not there was any irony in it, in a perverse kind of way there was something to be said for his comment. He saw certain acts as depriving yourself of enjoyment, and regardless whether that should apply to living a healthier lifesty;e he certainly seemed to love life. A few years back he took a couple of years out and him and his family moved to New Zealand simply to experience a different reality.
Whenever these kind of events spring themselves I do tend to get a bit more reflective – “why?” and “what’s it all about?”, kind of stuff. It’s only natural to do so, or maybe more so in cultures and environments that focus more heavily on the earthly rewards over the heavenly. I read in a book once that one reason why individuals fear death is because they are not living a life that’s true to them – not living their “dream”, compromising too much, living falsely, living in the never-never and so on.
Whatever the raft of fix-it books might suggest, not everyone can take the big step to achieve some crazy long-held dream. Real-world conditioning tends to bite. And even if they do jump there really is no guarantee of success. We always hear about the success stories but, as they say, history is written by winners and not every attempt will be 'successful' in the way they originally perceived it. Some people just swap one type of unhappiness for another kind of misery. There's absolutely nothing wrong with chasing dreams (and in reality it's definitely desirable to have something to shoot for), but sometimes we really musn't forget about the many joyous things right in front of our noses.
Whenever these kind of events spring themselves I do tend to get a bit more reflective – “why?” and “what’s it all about?”, kind of stuff. It’s only natural to do so, or maybe more so in cultures and environments that focus more heavily on the earthly rewards over the heavenly. I read in a book once that one reason why individuals fear death is because they are not living a life that’s true to them – not living their “dream”, compromising too much, living falsely, living in the never-never and so on.
Whatever the raft of fix-it books might suggest, not everyone can take the big step to achieve some crazy long-held dream. Real-world conditioning tends to bite. And even if they do jump there really is no guarantee of success. We always hear about the success stories but, as they say, history is written by winners and not every attempt will be 'successful' in the way they originally perceived it. Some people just swap one type of unhappiness for another kind of misery. There's absolutely nothing wrong with chasing dreams (and in reality it's definitely desirable to have something to shoot for), but sometimes we really musn't forget about the many joyous things right in front of our noses.
Monday, 5 July 2010
Eye of the tiger
There's a new instructor at the kung fu club I go to. Very laid back and every bit the identikit hippy. He speaks in a very soft but focused manner - you know when he speaks he's often got something worth listening to.
Today we were going through a bodily movement sequence, something which over the last couple of years I've done dozens upon dozens of times. As I came to a particular moment in the routine he noticed that I was not quite flowing as much as I should have been. He came over and said, "Now just get aware of everything around you. You're still in your head." I was so heavily focused on the internal workings of Wing Chun that I was getting a bit lost in my head. Overthinking, overanalysing and becoming detached from the reality around me.
On the way home from the class it got me thinking about a couple of previous blog entries, one that talked about "zooming out" and the other that discussed finding a balance between the internal and external realities. I realise now that I have a bit of a habit of getting lost in the fog of my thinking, analysis paralysis or simply drowning in the details of what's right in front of me. By doing all that I tend to lose sight of the need for a better connection and balance with the bigger picture. If I can get used to being more fully aware and live less in my head, I think I could be onto something very interesting indeed.
Today we were going through a bodily movement sequence, something which over the last couple of years I've done dozens upon dozens of times. As I came to a particular moment in the routine he noticed that I was not quite flowing as much as I should have been. He came over and said, "Now just get aware of everything around you. You're still in your head." I was so heavily focused on the internal workings of Wing Chun that I was getting a bit lost in my head. Overthinking, overanalysing and becoming detached from the reality around me.
On the way home from the class it got me thinking about a couple of previous blog entries, one that talked about "zooming out" and the other that discussed finding a balance between the internal and external realities. I realise now that I have a bit of a habit of getting lost in the fog of my thinking, analysis paralysis or simply drowning in the details of what's right in front of me. By doing all that I tend to lose sight of the need for a better connection and balance with the bigger picture. If I can get used to being more fully aware and live less in my head, I think I could be onto something very interesting indeed.
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
The love I lost
I've just had one of those days. One of those with complete doubt for myself and my capabilities. I suppose I'm quite glad that I'm not in denial of one of my biggest weaknesses - self doubt at certain times. On the surface, I seem to ooze a certain air of assuredness, bordering on cockiness at times. And yet it's all too easy to expose my Achilles heel - speaking in public. It's not even necessarily 'public speaking', per se - talking in meetings, talking on the phone at work and, of course, presentations. Yes, it's definitely more common than you think but you can't tell me that when my throat is doing 'the strangle' and the palms start to sweat.
Thinking about it, I can think of a variety of times over the years that it's manifested itself - the end of year presentation at university, the knocking knees syndrome at junior school when standing in front of the school, a specific job interview (though I actually got the job). But thinking some more, it's also amazing how many times I've performed amazingly, and ultimately in the context of 'fun' rather than 'work' it often is a performance. That has given me something to chew on - I've done it before so I can do it again and again. I already have the formula, the experiences and the tools and all I have to do is be disciplined enough to apply them. Being more consistently in the right zone, with a dash of relaxation and a bit of self love thrown back in, that should do the trick. A bit more of doing what you know rather than just knowing what to do.
This blog entry is a bit of a stream of consciousness one today but I'm feeling better already. I'm glad I got it off my chest.
Thinking about it, I can think of a variety of times over the years that it's manifested itself - the end of year presentation at university, the knocking knees syndrome at junior school when standing in front of the school, a specific job interview (though I actually got the job). But thinking some more, it's also amazing how many times I've performed amazingly, and ultimately in the context of 'fun' rather than 'work' it often is a performance. That has given me something to chew on - I've done it before so I can do it again and again. I already have the formula, the experiences and the tools and all I have to do is be disciplined enough to apply them. Being more consistently in the right zone, with a dash of relaxation and a bit of self love thrown back in, that should do the trick. A bit more of doing what you know rather than just knowing what to do.
This blog entry is a bit of a stream of consciousness one today but I'm feeling better already. I'm glad I got it off my chest.
Monday, 14 June 2010
Ball of confusion
Back on the World Cup tip, I was having a thought about the ball they're using.
What I find quite interesting is just how many players from the various teams competing seem to really hate the weight/flight/design of the ball. Quite a number of people think it's no good. But not Adidas. No, they say the ball is perfectly fine. The best ball ever - etc etc etc. I can't say that I've ever reached a pinnacle much beyond 'jumpers for goalposts' in the local park, but from the way I see it if the people it’s intended for say the product is rubbish then, well, it must be rubbish, whatever the maker would like to suggest.
Obviously, from a commercial perspective they'd never admit that they got it a bit wrong. But in a world where it's always good to see people accept when they've obviously made a mistake, it's just a shame when they choose to try to convince us otherwise.
What I find quite interesting is just how many players from the various teams competing seem to really hate the weight/flight/design of the ball. Quite a number of people think it's no good. But not Adidas. No, they say the ball is perfectly fine. The best ball ever - etc etc etc. I can't say that I've ever reached a pinnacle much beyond 'jumpers for goalposts' in the local park, but from the way I see it if the people it’s intended for say the product is rubbish then, well, it must be rubbish, whatever the maker would like to suggest.
Obviously, from a commercial perspective they'd never admit that they got it a bit wrong. But in a world where it's always good to see people accept when they've obviously made a mistake, it's just a shame when they choose to try to convince us otherwise.
Thursday, 10 June 2010
I'm so excited
Every four years Planet Football completes a full rotation on its axis. Yes, it's the football (or soccer, if you will) World Cup! Along with winning an Olympic gold, one of my earliest ever dreams in life was to play international football and win on the biggest stage possible. Well, I guess Usain Bolt has got the next Olympics covered so I guess that leaves me with the footie....
Actually, having taken thousands of turns in life that took me away from being anywhere close to achieving that goal, I look forward to watching from an armchair or in a pub those guys that had always dreamed about playing in the tournament and had now reached the highest of the high in their sport. In sporting terms, I'm way too long in the tooth to even take up competitive tiddly winks but such sporting occasions still touch me at the deepest level. It doesn't matter what sport, really. I've seen 300lbs grown men cry as they show off their Super Bowl rings, having achieved something that their 10,000 plus hours of hard dedication had taken them to. Brilliant.
And as I watch England gloriously win/lose/draw perched as I am in a faraway land, I'll also know that as one of the two gold-standard true global sporting events, peoples and nations everywhere will be crying, cheering and tutting together as a family. I just love it. It's what dreams are made of.
Actually, having taken thousands of turns in life that took me away from being anywhere close to achieving that goal, I look forward to watching from an armchair or in a pub those guys that had always dreamed about playing in the tournament and had now reached the highest of the high in their sport. In sporting terms, I'm way too long in the tooth to even take up competitive tiddly winks but such sporting occasions still touch me at the deepest level. It doesn't matter what sport, really. I've seen 300lbs grown men cry as they show off their Super Bowl rings, having achieved something that their 10,000 plus hours of hard dedication had taken them to. Brilliant.
And as I watch England gloriously win/lose/draw perched as I am in a faraway land, I'll also know that as one of the two gold-standard true global sporting events, peoples and nations everywhere will be crying, cheering and tutting together as a family. I just love it. It's what dreams are made of.
Monday, 7 June 2010
Move on up
Back in the day I tried to be an incredibly responsible individual at university and signed up for a computing course to accompany my main course of study. An ‘Introduction to Computing’ course, to be more precise. Now this was in an era when simply turning on a computer and actually getting it to do anything for you really was a science. I figured back then that this computing lark might be quite a useful tool to have in the future. As it turned out, this was my supplementary course in my first term of my first year at university, and quite frankly Tuesday morning lectures after a very late night at the regular student night at the Black Orchid nightclub really didn't go hand in hand. And because I’d often miss the Tuesdays, I figured the Thursdays weren’t really worth attending either. Somehow I managed to bumble my way through the coursework, thanks to my friend Fiona who for some reason was far more reliable than myself. And, of course, my very generous tutor passed me with 40% - the pass mark was 40% and I took note of the polite inference.
It’s amazing where we are now, some 20-odd years on from those less techno days. One irony in all of this was that had I not done that course I might have done something that I genuinely had an interest in - Art History, for example; something by its nature wouldn’t have changed a whole heap to this day. And looking back, I wish I’d done something like that, something I’d actually liked rather than signed up for something that I thought I ought to do. Okay, I was young and little did I know that everyone would be walking and talking down the street with a computer in their hands all these years down the line. But, intrinsically, the field was never my bag. Hopefully, these days I’m learning to be a bit more true to myself.
It’s amazing where we are now, some 20-odd years on from those less techno days. One irony in all of this was that had I not done that course I might have done something that I genuinely had an interest in - Art History, for example; something by its nature wouldn’t have changed a whole heap to this day. And looking back, I wish I’d done something like that, something I’d actually liked rather than signed up for something that I thought I ought to do. Okay, I was young and little did I know that everyone would be walking and talking down the street with a computer in their hands all these years down the line. But, intrinsically, the field was never my bag. Hopefully, these days I’m learning to be a bit more true to myself.
Thursday, 3 June 2010
Smoke gets in your eyes
I recently finished a part-time Executive Diploma in Corporate Coaching. As you may be able to tell from my blog, I've always had an interest in transformational thinking and personal advancement so I figured that a 5-month course telling me more about life coaching and the ilk would be money well spent. And indeed it was. Since completion I've done a few coaching sessions with friends, trying out some of the techniques that I took on board and ultimately with one eye on doing it as a part-time venture and, eventually, something to do in retirement (which, truth be told, is a long, long way away but still useful skills to have in reserve).
Anyway, one approach that I continue to use on the people I'm coaching, as well as myself in everyday life, is "zooming out". In a nutshell, it's all about getting some perspective on the stuff, the noise, the fog that seems to be grinding you down or you see is your main issue. It's all about taking a step back and getting some perspective, rather than getting into the nitty-gritty detail of the "he said, she said" storyline. By zooming out, I've been able to often get a much clearer picture about what's really going on. You step away from the blame game and the excuses, blow the smoke away what's just obscuring your vision and basically see your reality in a clearer manner.
Anyway, one approach that I continue to use on the people I'm coaching, as well as myself in everyday life, is "zooming out". In a nutshell, it's all about getting some perspective on the stuff, the noise, the fog that seems to be grinding you down or you see is your main issue. It's all about taking a step back and getting some perspective, rather than getting into the nitty-gritty detail of the "he said, she said" storyline. By zooming out, I've been able to often get a much clearer picture about what's really going on. You step away from the blame game and the excuses, blow the smoke away what's just obscuring your vision and basically see your reality in a clearer manner.
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