Golden Brown

It's amazing what you can find on the internet to get you thinking and, hopefully, take you to the next level. I fell upon a TED lecture by Brene Brown, an academic researcher, that discusses the concept of vulnerability and "being enough".

It's a great piece - if you get the chance to watch it all, give it a go. It may well expand your perception.

Keep On Believing

I love 'Glee'. It's fun, cheeky, irreverent, poignant and just bursting full of talent. I'm going to talk about my thoughts on the TV programme in more detail another time but there was an interesting comment made in an episode I watched recently.

It was an episode which discussed religion, faith and belief systems and one of the characters, Kurt Hummel, was having a crisis in this space - he simply wanted to block that world out.

It's not for me to say what people should or shouldn't believe in but I liked what Kurt's friend, Mercedes Jones, said. To paraphrase, she felt that we've all got to believe in something - something you can’t just taste, touch or see. We're bigger than that. The idea of believing in something that can't be measured, that shows that we exist beyond the tangible information put in front of our face. Maybe it's just about trusting in something good.

The Year of The Cat

Kung Hei Fat Choi! Or at least that's the Happy Chinese New Year that Cantonese speakers worldwide will be embracing.

It's been quite interesting reading the stir that excerpts from 'Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mom' have engendered. This is the book written by Amy Chua, Yale law professor and self-described "tiger mother". Amy was born and raised in the US but was given what she terms as traditional "Chinese parenting". It is a form of authoritarian parenthood that she has used on her own daughters that is quite shocking to some observers: never accepting a grade lower than an A, insisting on hours of maths and spelling drills and violin and piano practice of up to six hours each day until they got pieces right, calling her daughter "garbage" when she acted disrespectfully, and not allowing television or computer games or even school plays.

The backlash has been very vocal. Critics in the US call her a "monster" and ask "where is the love, the acceptance?". Amy insists that she is doing it out of love, positioning her children for the "tough world", where Western/US parenting creates weak-willed children less geared towards hard work, with less focus.

I think Amy's approach is certainly an extreme one and not one that encourages the development of free-spirited individuals. But I have to say, having lived in both Asian and a US cultures, I do see some things I want to glean from it. I'm looking at it more from the angle of focus and discipline, keeping the eye on the prize, repetition and practice to achieve goals, praising hard work rather than simple success, better utilisation of time and so on.

Her tone and approach may have a lot to be desired but a less extreme version has its merits and we'll see whether this is reflected in more of an the economic shift from West to East in coming decades. In hindsight (and it is pure hindsight), I kind of wish that I'd been given more of a push at different times in my life.

So as we enter the Chinese year of the rabbit, it's worth thinking about some of the messages from the "big cat mothers" - a bit more focus and diligence could make this your year as well.

The Work Song

This month seems to be flying by! I've just been so busy being so busy in recent weeks. So busy in fact that I haven't had a chance to play with my blog.

So it seems apt that the inspirational comments that came over my email today was as follows:

"Are we there yet? How often do you find yourself anxious to get 'there'? Are you over focused on the destination? How about enjoying the journey and not just the destination."

Time to enjoy.

It Only Takes A Minute

I've been reading a fascinating book called ‘59 Seconds’. In a nutshell it packages itself as a personal development book with a difference. It bases its wisdom and insights on scientifically-underpinned results. These are simple ideas that can be learned within a minute (hence the name). Social psychologists are always doing tests on something and this book aims to synthesize the outcomes of all kinds of experiments on human lab rats. And interesting stuff it is too.

I’ve read a lot of development books in my time and I've often wondered how much of the advice is the genuine article or simply old wives tales, half truths or simply regurgitated stuff that people kind of believe is true without even testing the water. Yes, you can still question causation and coincidence with some of the experiments outlined in this book but it did get me thinking.

One of the tests revolved around how children behaved when they are given the option of getting instant reward in the form of a chocolate or accepting a better reward in the form of two chocolates. The theory is that some want gratification now rather than to wait for something that will turn out to be better. A bird in the hand types to some degree. The research behind the tests suggests that those that show more patience have tended to be more successful over their lives. Naturally, it got me thinking about how I've lived my life. Too often I've had a need to get results in the now, which has provided my ‘sugar rush’ but hasn’t had a lasting impact. Playing the long game has not always been a strong suit. But the boffins have a view on balancing up the instant fix with the benefits of playing the long game. I’m definitely being more conscious about thinking and shaping ahead. It's not too late to plan for tomorrow.

Only You

I was walking down the street when I heard the old Platters song 'Only You' belting out of a shop doorway. It's one of those oldies but goodies you rarely hear, even on old school radio.

But here it was talking to me. I say talking to me as I was having one of those early-year, post-resolution-setting moments of aaaggghhh!!!

The day's gym effort had been pretty feeble even in the context of recent less than stellar efforts. The plan to push on with more life coaching had hit invisible speed bumps. My guitar heroics hadn't quite turned me into the next Eric Clapton. And, quite frankly, I was getting nowhere fast really. I always had excuses. It was the weather, the water, the whatever. And then I heard the song and remembered it was all down to me:

Only you can make this world seem right
Only you can make the darkness bright
Only you and you alone
Can thrill me like you do
And fill my heart with love for only you

Only you can make this change in me
For it's true, you are my destiny
When you hold my hand
I understand the magic that you do
You're my dream come true
My one and only you

Cool.

The Boxer

Yesterday I heard the sad news of the tragic passing of ex-British heavyweight boxing champion Gary Mason. He was only 48 years old.

His was a story of a man with so much unfulfilled potential who didn't quite get the luck he deserved. As British champion he fought in a unification bout with the then European champion, Lennox Lewis. At the time Gary had an unblemished fighting record and was favourite to win against the relative upstart. It was winner takes all - and little did we know how this was to play out. Lennox won the fight by technical knockout and never looked back. Because of eye injury Gary's career started to wind down, despite him never losing again. 37 victories, 34 of which were by knockout, and that one solitary defeat. Quite a boxing career.

Why do I have such an interest in him? He was my next-door neighbour in South London for a number of years when I was growing up. That, and the fact he was genuinely a very generous, humble, articulate and decent guy. And with a smile on his face. I still remember setting off early every morning to do my paper round only to see him already putting the hard graft into his training. He was committed. He tried.

After his career ended he tried his hand at a number of ventures - I still remember his "Punch and Jewellery" shop. If the initiative didn't work out, and more often than not it didn't, he'd try something else. And so he continued. But still with a smile on his face and with a positive expectation out of life. I've flicked through quite a few tributes over the internet - some knew him, some had just been inspired by him. He wasn't part of the badaaass, gangsta heavyweight merry-go-round that served some boxers; nor did he play pantomine dame for public adulation. He was just good at what he did and let that do the talking.

He could have been more than a contender (and had he being plying his trade today there would be no doubt. But he was sandwiched between the Frank Bruno and Lennox Lewis eras. It just wasn't to be.

So farewell, big man. Keep that laughing large and loud wherever you are.

Begin The Beguine

Happy New Year!

It's that time of year again - fresh promise, new inspirations and bold aspirations. Everything is possible over 2011... Okay, we've all been here before. In fact, it only seems like so many of us were having these thoughts about 12 months ago - and it didn't quite pan out as planned... Regardless of previous efforts, once in a while we still need to be able to re-set our dial to point us in a direction we feel is right for us.

Personally, I like to think that this could take place at any given time within the year, rather than package it in the hype and pressures of New Year resolutions. But an unexamined life isn't worth living (or something like that), so any calendar mechanism that allows us to re-think how and why we you are doing what we are doing can only be a good thing, particularly if it helps us to undertake positive change.

I'm taking on a few more focused goals for 2011, including making more out of this blog. Hopefully some of you will join me on the journey this year - or join me with my dance, as a "beguine" apparently is.

Hopefully we can all start the year as we mean to go on...