So Long, Farewell

Last weekend an email went out from my school alumni association telling us all that my ex-headmaster had passed away. I'm not actually sure how old he was because through teenage eyes he already seemed quite old - and that was quite some time ago. Still, it came as a bit of a shock as you sometimes feel that certain people that exist in a bubble were just meant to live forever. At school he taught me A-Level History. I was fortunate enough to be awarded the course prize in both senior years and, ultimately, I went onto university to read History. So it's fair to say he had a bit of a bearing on my path into adulthood.

The thing is I don't actually think of him in the context of the course at all. In fact, he really wasn't that good a teacher. A bit rambly if I remember. But as a person he was just such a charismatic, warm, energetic and genuine kind of guy. Even when I bumped into him in the street many years after both he and I had departed the school, he still had so much to offer in terms of kind words, friendliness, advice and humour. And this whole episode got me thinking about a life coaching technique I know involving leaving a legacy. To set the scene, imagine you've just passed away (not a winning thought but roll with it). A friend stands up at a gathering to read a eulogy on you to all your other friends and family. What would you want your eulogy to say about the life you have led (winning character traits, achievements, people who have loved you, people you've loved)? Then think: What would it actually say if it were to be done truthfully now? A tad morbid, perhaps, but it does get you thinking about what kind of gift you're already giving to the world and the huge amount of other stuff and human potential that you could throw into the mix.

Nobody's perfect and I'm sure the headmaster had as many frailties as the next person. But I will remember him fondly based on what impression he left on me. So, thanks, for everything, Mr Thomson.

Remember The Time

Another Monday, another annoying day. Well, I say annoying - it was just another frustrating day of being me. Can't do this, not good enough at that, don't know how to think creatively - Monday morning thinking for me. Sometimes I get caught up with all the negative noises that are part and parcel of being human. But on the way home from work I had my own mini epiphany:

"Of course I'm very capable and smart and insightful and interesting - I just need to read my blog."

And that's what I've been doing - reading my very own posts from the past. The clever bits, the silly bits, the funny bits, the inspired bits, the emotional bits. It's a simple thing, perhaps, but it's little things like this that can prove to me that I have got what it takes and I'm more than enough. I've shown it in the past and no doubt can prove it to myself again in the future.

Redemption Song

As much as Tinseltown gets a bad rap for the amount of regurgitated, formulaic dross that gets served up on occasion at the cinema, there have been many movie moments that will continue to stand the test of time. One of my favourite films is the Shawshank Redemption, a wonderful movie about the human spirit. Having not seen it for a number of years I caught it again a few weeks ago. It's still great. One quote, though, from the Tim Robbins character still sticks out for me and in a way sums up life in general and not just life in a correctional facility:

"I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really - get busy living or get busy dying"

Too true.

Chapel Of Love

I'm not a monarchist by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I've very often had a negative take on what the British royal family represents historically and in the present (in my eyes). That said, and putting aside the media hysteria, the upcoming wedding between Will and Kate does temper my view for now. For one thing, an event like this does provide a common (more cheerful) bond for the nation as a whole - something that's built out of the more positive than negative. And because I don't live in the UK these days it does fill me with a sense of pride in all that pomp and ceremony that the little island is still very good at throwing into a party. And, of course, we have to wish the happy twosome well - they are just another young couple starting new lives together, albeit very much in the public eye.

So, to Will and Kate, have a special day.

Living Years

I was reading yesterday about the passing of the world’s oldest man, Walter Breuning. He lived to 114 years of age and clearly witnessed a great deal of change on earth. There may not be any magic formula for how to live your life but he certainly had some really interesting things to say about the secret behind his longevity:

- Embrace change, even when the change slaps you in the face. ("Every change is good.")
- Eat two meals a day ("That's all you need.")
- Work as long as you can ("That money's going to come in handy.")
- Help others ("The more you do for others, the better shape you're in.")
- A lesson Breuning said he learned from his grandfather: Accept death.
- He didn't regret anything, and he implored others to follow his philosophy.
- "Everybody says your mind is the most important thing about your body. Your mind and your body. You keep both busy, and by God you'll be here a long time."

This, I guess, represented his guiding principles or inner compass - what made him tick and what he was all about. I certainly can see value in a lot of what he said but it also made me think about what my own template for life is. The clearer it is to me and the more I embrace it, the more I'll be living a life that's true to me, however long that turns out to be. Thanks Walter.

The One And Only

On a personal level, I think it's important to keep on learning and finding ways to expand my mind. And on the basis of this I attended a 'Modern Buddhism' talk and meditation this evening. Hosting the session was a young and spritely fellow, draped in traditional Buddhist robes but clearly representing the new guard.

I've dipped in and out of Buddhist teachings, some parts of which I could apply more easily than others. But the thing that stuck in my mind tonight was a question that the Buddhist said to ask ourselves in times of stress, anger, upset, insecurity etc. The question to ask is, "Am I the only one?". Am I the only one out there stressed at the moment? The only one angry? The only one upset? The answer is clearly "no". But not everyone has as much insight or support or awareness to deal with it as you.

It was partly about perspective but also about seeing yourself as another human being and connecting with that. Problems cause havoc when you keep viewing them along narrow personal terms. The broader the perspective, the more chance for a bit of peace.

Hungry Like The Wolf

This time of year, every year I do a detox. I use the term detox loosely as I feel it's more a re-evaluation of the food and drink being consumed rather than some fashionable diet based on special pills or shakes. I went on a Tony Robbins personal development weekend about six years ago and learned the idea there, and have been implementing it twice a year ever since.

In a nutshell, it's no meat, dairy, caffeine, fried food, artificial sugars, alcohol and nicotine for anywhere between 10 and 20 days. In addition, over the course of the programme you're meant to do a minimum of 15 minutes cardio on at least 6 occasions. On top of that, you're supposed to avoid combining proteins with carbs and to have something like three-quarters of your meals based on fruit or veg - neither which I particularly adhere to as strictly these days. Finally, don't forget to have lots of water.

This detox is part of my calendar and friends and family have got used to it all. The first few times were definitely quite hard, as my diet was in hindsight pretty shocking back then and disciplining myself felt like a chore. But I realised even then that the body needs a rest from the toxins once and a while. The weight loss and the extra energy I found was quite dramatic, particularly as it took a while for me to want to fully go back to my old ways anyway.

My lifestyle has evolved - I drink less, don't smoke (well, rarely), hardly eat dairy, still have a sweet tooth but am more sensible, and generally eat more fruit and vegetables. I even have "no meat Mondays". Something that started out as a bit of an experiment has become part of me. I'm not perfect at it, and I know when I do fall off the wagon it can be with a mighty thud, but overall I think the process is adding more value to my life than taking away.

Holding Back The Years

The whole "trust" thing has really got me thinking over the last few days. I even dug out a book I bought about five years ago entitled "Trust Yourself" by M.J. Ryan. Reading through it now for a second time after all this time it's actually pretty good reading and I would recommend it.

One thing that did come to mind is my habit for hoarding. I blame my mother. She always has been and always will be a hoarder. It's interesting dissecting the whole thing now and beyond the obvious issue of it creating clutter and a more distracted mind. Sometimes it's pure sentimentality. A lot of the hoarding, though, is done out of a "what if" principle. What if I need the three-year old statement sometime in the future, what if I ever decide to take up Spanish, what if flares ever come back into fashion....

My mother's hoarding seems to labour the final point. There are so many things kept in boxes and drawers that are simply no longer relevant. Had they been used and appreciated and then discarded in real time, then that's fair enough. I appreciate the need for keeping certain things for a rainy day, like money obviously. But some of us just hold onto stuff because we're too scared to let go, to take risks, to move on, to trust ourselves and the world that everything will be alright without it.

Simply by addressing this habit bit by bit I think I'm going to see some interesting changes on how I relate to my environment.