Ride On Time

Riding a bike. At 79. For some odd reason that was one of the first things that jumped out at me when I read about the recent passing of Steven Covey, inspirational speaker/self-help guru/motivational leader. Engaged in life until the end, unfortunately, Covey never recovered from a cycling accident he'd had just a few months ago. I guess you could say he went with all guns blazing. His "Seven Habits of Highly People" is a landmark book I've mentioned before in this blog and something I sometimes turn to for inspiration. I highly recommend it.


By a twist a fate, another notable 79-year old passed away on the same day - Barton Biggs, one of the leading investment gurus of our time. He was best know for accurately predicting the economic rise of China and the bursting of the dot-com bubble in the late 1990s. 


Covey and Biggs, in my view, were two men of brilliant minds, leaving legacies and many followers across the world. But on a personal level, they kind of reflect two parts of me - one's world was more closely connected to what I do; one’s world was more closely connected to what I am. As a day job, I work in finance - not in the rarefied world of high investment finance like Biggs, but still broadly in that space. It's what I do and it pays the bills. Covey's world, however, touches on many areas of my existence. I've been into personal development, life coaching et al for many years, and I continually look to apply new principles that I've learned. Yes, Covey's work did bridge more business-related areas such as management principles, but ultimately for me he was about helping you find direction in life and making sure you did something with it.


It may be too simplified but, personally, Biggs' world represents making a living, Covey's represents making a life. Riding a bike. At 79. Says it all really. Either way, their deaths have helped re-focus my own thoughts on what is important to me. A fond farewell to both of you.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

It's that time of year again. Wimbledon. Two weeks of the finest tennis you'll see anywhere on the planet, at the mercy of the Great British summer and overpriced strawberries and cream. 

I would never say that I was a officiando of the sport, but having grown up not a million miles away from the tournament I've always got wrapped up in the whole fortnight.

It was never hard to be inspired by some of the many greats that walked the hallowed turf on Centre Court: Becker, Williams, McEnroe, Navratilova, Sampras, Graf, Agassi, Evert, Borg and on and on we go. 

So it's no surprise that Britain's obsession with finding its next Wimbledon singles winner, akin to the second coming of a messiah, is about to go into overdrive. Andy Murray, the dour-faced but steely-determined world number 4, is pitted in the men's final against one of the greatest players that has ever walked this earth, Roger Federer. 

Of course, this is flag-waving tabloid heaven. St George against the Dragon (albeit Murray is Scottish and not English), immovable object against irresistible force, the Dunkirk spirit of backs against the wall stuff. And all in what's been packaged as a glorious year for the UK - the Queen's Diamond Jubilee (Britain's last singles winner, Virginia Wade, was in the Silver Jubilee year); the London Olympics; and the opening of the Shard, the tallest skyscraper in Western Europe and a symbol of renewed national belief.

I may be a bit of a" lapsed Brit" these days, insofar as I haven't lived there for much of the last decade, but none of the symbolism escapes me. But turning to Murray the man, I found it really interesting reading a piece he wrote prior to his semi final. He said how he likes to chat with other athletes, especially individual athletes, because the mindset is similar to that of tennis players. 

Boxing was a particular area of interest, as they are so strong mentally, work extremely hard and ultimately put themselves in danger if they're not focused. But they are also like the rest of us, albeit able to switch it on when it counts. Mike Tyson, for example, has said he has "often walked to the ring petrified he might lose, but as soon as he stepped in there he thought nobody could beat him, he felt invincible."

I guess the reason this has resonated with me is because we forget sometimes how very human great sportsmen and sportswomen are. They can be determined, they can be focused, they can be nervous, they can be angry, they can lose the plot. They can be like you or I. 

There is nothing wrong as such with the "yes, we can" type platitudes but for me realising that people that we put on a pedestal are, deep down, no different to the rest of us is a very big thing for me. Get the mindset, the focus and application right, and you too can go places.

And on Sunday, may the best man called Murray win...

Safe From Harm

Last week I met up with my financial advisor for a periodic review of my portfolio. There were times in the past that booking a meeting with the guy felt akin to a visit to the dentist. There are some things in life you just prefer to put off as long as you can. Call it denial. Call it the ego of not wanting to hear the advice of someone with a far better insight than yourself. Admittedly, an earlier advisor I had proved to be way too  'sales pitch' and too little 'advice' that was relevant for me. But my current one seems to be happy to discuss, listen to my thoughts and give his input in return.

So when he started talking about life insurance and critical health cover I was slightly put out at first. I don't have any dependants, I've a bit of money saved, and my gym and kung fu memberships get a good workout. I'm okay, was my angle. But before I dismissed it all out of hand, I paused. I paused because I had a realisation. As much as we all like to think we're indestructible, we all have a 'best before' date. The occasional ache or pain that I've picked up in the gym, or simply from getting out of bed, tends to last a bit longer than they did a decade or two ago. I also didn't order the grey hair and receding hairline. The weight doesn't disappear as easily as it used to either. 

In a weird way, this isn't about whether or not I take out the insurance (and I'm still debating the pros and cons). It's more a realisation that time waits for no man. Sometimes you've just got to adapt with the times. I'm not the kid any more that my head tries to convince me I should be. I need to live with this and adjust as necessary. Equally, I may not be that youthful, energetic, bright-eyed innocent any longer, but the essence of that being must not be ignored even if the shell around it is showing a bit of wear and tear.

Stop

I had a bit of a revelation a few weeks ago. Many years ago I absolutely loved psychoanalysing myself. Well, maybe "loved" isn't quite the word. Rather, I just couldn't stop doing it. "Why am I this...Why do I do that"-kind of nonsense. Some of it was revelationary, some of it was just plain bad. Bad, bad, bad. None of it was really about the finer points in my personality. No, this period of self abuse, for want of a better phrase, was all about why I had messed up and why I would continue messing up.

I'm guessing this went on for years, going by some old diary entries I've tracked down. I can't remember when I stopped. But one day, I just did. Or rather, I no longer drifted to the darkest depths of my self criticism, but instead skated on the surface.

Anyway, my recent revelation was all about how my analysis of the self differs between then and now. Back then it was so very much coming from a space of doubt, of blame, of dislike. And while I do have those moments of "woe is me" I'm most definitely coming more from a position of acceptance and love. I know I mess up - but now I more often than not throw in "but don't we all". And I'm glad I do.

(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction

I've been so busy being busy that it's been a while since I've played with my blog. Looking for inspiration after some time away, I thought I'd fall back on today's daily email inspiration sent to me by my old friends at Inner Space:

“I need... more of... a new... How much time, energy and money are you spending trying to satisfy the "need"?

Do you need everything you think you really "need"? If the need isn't adding to your purpose in life, put it on hold.

Be satisfied with what you have and accept that you have enough!”

Somebody's Watching Me

I was minding my own business on the bus on the way into work one morning when I noticed a guy walking up the street. He was somewhere in his mid- to late-forties, decked in a sharp suit, shiny shoes and briefcase to match. He was sauntering along, clearly in a world of his own. What really grabbed my attention was something I don't think I've seen in a very, very long time. He was casually picking his nose and, in blunt terms, was sticking his findings right into his mouth. Three or four times. Maybe he didn't have time for toast. Who knows. Either way, he seemed oblivious of his surroundings and forgot that such behaviour wasn't part of the normal construct of lawyer or accountant types.

I couldn't help but stare at him because it just didn't seem to fit - his age, his perceived social standing, his environment, the time of day. None of it. My guess is he would probably be horrified at the thought of doing such a thing, never mind being caught doing it. But we all have certain habits that we'd rather never saw the light of day. Maybe not so incongruent but they're still there. Some things are just long time learned. 

Silly perhaps, but seeing this man in action made me feel ever so slightly more connected. For all my securities, faults and just plain weird moments, so too does the next man, CEO or politician. It reminded me that we are all made of the same stuff. So stop putting people on pedestals. And always remember to wash your hands.

The Time of Your Life

So I'm just over a week into my twice-yearly detox - no meat, alcohol, dairy, sugar, caffeine and the like, plus a good dose of cardio. It tends to go on for anywhere between 10 days to 3 weeks, depending on my mood (though is likely to be closer to the latter this time around). Even though it can get a tad frustrating at times, I've done it so many times now, and my diet has ultimately moved on such a long way from my chocolate-bar-for-dessert lifestyle, that it's less of a challenge nowadays.

I try to add something new each time I do it - one detox I went to a Buddhist meditation session, another occasion I tried out colonic irrigation - simply to make it feel less like more of the same. This time around I've taken on a more holistic approach, trying to spring clean a number of areas of my life and get a bit more focus. I've detoxed the use Facebook, for example - the home of many a wasted hour. I've set myself the task to be in contact with at least two people I haven't been in touch with for over 6 months - one down, at least one to go so far. I've challenged myself to get my financial house in order by reviewing and redefining my financial plan. I've targeted finding something in my life to declutter and something to 'add value' every few days. I've challenged myself to choose a charity and decide on how to contribute. More daily meditation, implement time management areas, reconnect with family members, review my life areas, and so on it goes. Oh, and one aim was to write at least three blog pieces over three weeks - so two down one to go...

I may well have overstretched myself in terms of the list but that was part of the idea - to have some worthwhile areas to shoot for, to show some discipline and integrity and to make sure I'm on a path to address them. It's about looking at and focusing on what's important in life. The application isn't perfect but the intent is there. Time, like food, can be full of junk if you don't take a little bit of care.

Father Figure

I'm not one to get emotional at weddings. Sometimes I think I'm just not wired that way. Maybe the fact that I've been to quite a few ceremonies or receptions (32 at the last count), I've allowed myself to get a bit detached from the underlying emotions of the occasions. But saying all that, I've just returned from a wonderful bash held on the outskirts of Adelaide, South Australia, which touched me more than most occasions.

The location helped - the backdrop to the outdoor setting was a huge McClaren Vale vineyard. The skyline was clear for as far as the eye could see and the sheer peaceful serenity of where we were was a little overwhelming for the polluted, sky-scraping city dweller within me. It also helped, I guess, that a lot of people came away with a few extra air miles by attending the event. The bride was originally from those parts, though no longer lives in Australia, while the groom's family are all based in Northern Ireland. There was plenty of travelling by a large slice of us, and the bride and groom were clearly touched by this. But what really made the event very special for me was the fact that the bride's father has been seriously ill for some time and wasn't sure whether he would be around to see the special day. That day, he arrived just ahead of the bride. A nephew pushed him and his wheelchair onto the field and up the aisle to a huge round of applause from the other guests. He stopped about five metres away from where the groom stood waiting for his wife-to-be. 

Moments later the wedding march kicked in and the bride was walking down the aisle towards the groom.  But she wasn't going to do the whole journey solo. As she approached her father, she stopped. With the aid of nearby relatives, he struggled to his feet and slowly and gradually walked his daughter down those final five meters of the aisle. The walk may have been briefer than normal but this was a lifetime in the making - it felt like in those few steps he managed to fulfil a dream he'd had since the first day he held his baby daughter. 

It's way up there in terms of the most powerful gestures I've seen at a wedding and, needless to say, it was an emotional moment for everyone there to witness it. It's one wedding memory that will stick in my mind more than many from the other 31.