There's one thing that I'm really trying to get to grips with - money. It's not money, per se, as I have enough to eat, sleep and make merry, but I seem to find myself beating myself up over nothing at times. A case in point - I have a pretty tatty and rubbish mobile phone and have been thinking quite a lot about getting an iPhone or some other new-fangled smartphone. I can afford it and quite like the look of those kind of things. But I just can't quite dig into my pockets.
Without wanting to over-analyse the basis of this, I was brought up to be very aware of how I spent money. We didn't have much and knew how to make money stretch so to speak. I guess I developed a sense of the importance of value. To be fair, I'm quite good with money - I don't get enticed into spending by a nice window display or a bad mood. I tend to know how much I've got in the bank, where I can get discounts and when I should be investing. But I still don't think my relationship with money is as healthy as it could be. That's because I think I'm limited by fear. Fear that I'll need the money one day, perhaps. I can almost feel the caution overwhelming me everytime I go into a mobile phone shop. Very strange.
And being limited in such a way I kind of feel I'm symbolically doing the same for life generally. I don't have any great urge to splash incessantly, and I guess I'm reasonably generous towards others. Maybe I need to get it into my head that I can deserve some of the nicer things and damn the cost. I need to be a little more trusting that I'm actually pretty decent with money and always will be. I can't let this limit the need to upgrade things generally in life. Food for thought.