Thursday, 23 June 2011

Let It Be

Sometimes friendships or relationships aren't meant to work on paper. It might be because it's a collision of two dyametrically opposed worlds, value systems or cultures. Maybe there's an age gap. Maybe you're an extrovert and they're an introvert. Maybe you're introspective and spiritual and they're highest priority in life is the next episode of the a soap opera or the next incarnation of a brand of shoes. It's classic Hollywood buddy movie stuff or the two lead characters in a romcom that are so different but finally get together before the end credits roll.

Personally, I've experienced all of this in recent years with a few friends and a girlfriend. On occasion it has been frustrating - "why can't you see the world through my prism?", kind of way. Other times, I find myself thinking - "wow, you've surprised/inspired me in a very good way."

There's no template for these things, and as long as there's mutual respect and understanding it's amazing what dynamics work. That's something I continue to learn and certainly I've unravelled a lot of my more rigid thinking over the years. Yes, there's plenty of ego behind it all. And I'm sure some of these individuals would be wondering why on earth I'm sitting here on a Friday morning dissecting and writing about such a subject. No need to analyse and discuss - whatever works, works, they'd say (and have said). So I'm going to (try to) continue to accept how dynamics can play out rather than instinctively refer to some manual on how friendships and relationships are supposed to be shaped. Just let it be.


  1. That was a really good post! You have a way with words.

    Understanding is key to having a stable and healthy relationship, but more important than that is communication. Through communication, you may not always understand what the other person means, but you can respect their opinions and values to hold the bonds in place.

    Thanks for sharing x =]

  2. Your last paragraph sums it up really nicely. There is need for communication and compromise in any relationship. And without them the relationship has little chance of working!

  3. Thanks, Yours Truly - much appreciated. Understanding is so important in all of this.

    Thanks as ever, Nas - "it's good to talk" as BT used to say in those adverts all those years ago... So true.